zondag 1 maart 2015

Bullied teen commits suicide leaving family questioning warning signs

Posted: Feb 18, 2015 11:51 PM CETUpdated: Feb 19, 2015 11:27 PM CET
The memorial friends and family made for the teen where she committed suicide.
The memorial friends and family made for the teen where she committed suicide.
COVINGTON (WSLS 10) - One local community is looking for answers after the death of a teen.
Abby Baker was 15-years-old and a student at Covington High School when she committed suicide one day after school.
Her family, friends and the entire community was left to wonder why she felt so helpless, but a video surfaced after her death where she admits she was bullied.
“She always had a smile. We didn't know. We didn't know she was so upset with herself and she would tell us she was ugly and we would say no you're not ugly, you're a beautiful little girl, but I never thought of that as a warning sign. Teenagers, they do that,” explained Abby's mom, Ginny Nalley.
Bullying experts at Blue Ridge Behavioral Healthcare say bullying is not a one-size-fits-all issue.
Some kids face depression first, then are bullied at school. Others are bullied and then become depressed, and of course, not all bullying leads to depression.
One Blue Ridge Behavioral Healthcare licensed counselor says, unfortunately, Ginny is not alone. It's not uncommon for parents to not know their child is being bullied, because children and teens often times don't share that information.
The counselor says parents simply have to read their child.
For instance, if your child is fine all weekend, then on Monday morning says he or she is sick, there might be a reason they're avoiding school.
Counselors also say this generation is stressed and sleep deprived more than any other generation before.
One of the first things parents can do to improve these conditions is take away the child's cell phone at night.
BRBH experts give a few symptoms to watch out for.
Stress Symptoms in Teens:
-lost interest in usual activities/interests
-changes in sleeping and/or eating (increase or decrease)
-wants to be alone all of the time
-physical symptoms (headaches and stomachaches)
Symptoms of Depression:
-frequent sadness, tearfulness, crying
-increased irritability, anger, hostility
-talk of running away
For more about the services offered by Blue Ridge Behavioral Healthcare and Mental Health America of Roanoke, visit their website at MHARV.com

zaterdag 28 februari 2015

Worst kind of bully can be in your own home, study says

SALT LAKE CITY — Nationwide efforts are trying to stamp out bullying in schools, but a new study suggests the biggest bully might be in your own home.
A study from the University of Nebraska-Lincoln says that sibling bullying and aggression can desensitize kids and make bullying on the playground appear normal.
The study, published in the Journal of Family Violence, surveyed 392 students at UNL about their childhoods and asked them questions about how they perceived aggression, how often they saw it and if they reported it,according to a UNL news release. The study also asked how they perceived bullying from siblings versus peers.
The researchers were surprised to learn that sibling bullying happened more often than bullying at school. Students were often less likely to report bullying at home and even struggled to define it as bullying, researchers said.
"We had theorized and discussed a little bit that maybe this is happening between people that presumably love each other and care about each other, so I think everyone just accepts it as normal behavior,” said UNL law and psychology researcher Eve Brank.
Researchers noted the “most striking” result was that students who were bullied by siblings were less likely to be bothered when they saw bullying on the playground and even less likely to report it. These findings suggest children aren’t reporting bullying because they think teasing or aggressive behavior is normal.
"I would hope that people who work on bullying interventions would be aware of it and realize that this is happening outside of school as well," Brank said in the news release. "Instead of just focusing those efforts on peer bullying at school, those same efforts could be used in other groups."
This study comes on the heels of another sibling bullying study from the University of Oxford last year that found children who were bullied by their siblings were twice as likely to have clinical depression as young adults and twice as likely to self-harm, according to a news release.
The study authors were careful to note that the bullying wasn’t playful teasing, but weekly incidents where children are “subjected to verbal and physical violence.”
Katey Smith, a licensed clinical social worker in Connecticut, told NBC News that parents often dismiss or downplay bullying that happens at home. She used an example of an athletically gifted 11-year-old who was bullying his “artsy” younger brother.
"It's mostly the older brother making fun of the little brother. It's all the time and it causes the little one quite a bit of stress because he looks up to his brother,” she told NBC News.
Parents need to establish rules and set boundaries for their kids, Smith said, and also help their children learn healthy coping mechanisms.

A LOT of tech workers are being bullied at work

Working as an IT professional is an incredibly mixed bag these days. On the one hand, the pay is great, demand for skilled tech workers is high, and the work is often rewarding.
Now add one more negative to the list: a high chance of being bullied by a co-worker.
More than half (55%) of 250 IT professionals in the US. surveyed said they had been bullied by a co-worker. And 65% have said they dreaded going to work because of bad behavior of a co-worker.
So finds a survey conducted by web hosting firm Connectria Hosting, whose founder and CEO, Rich Waidmann, is trying to start a movement to end workplace bullying called "No Jerks Allowed." Waidmann founded Connectria in 1996, after working 12 years from NCR (acquired by AT&T).
"When I started Connectria in 1996, I wanted to build a company that was great to work for and work with," Waidmann says in a video that explains why he started No Jerks Allowed.  
That means it's a job requirement at his company that every employee treat everyone else with courtesy and respect as well as "going the extra mile" to take care of people in the community who are less fortunate, he says.
Rich Waidmann ConnectriaLinkedIn/Rich WaidmannConnectria founder and CEO Rich Waidmann
That might sound like common-sense business courtesy but in the tech world, such manners are not a given.
Back in 1996 the role model for the IT world was the young Bill Gates, who threw notorious tantrums in those days, as did his successor Steve Ballmer. At one point, the story goes, Microsoft even employed a person to count how many times Gates dropped the "f-word" in a meeting, as a way to measure how pleased or upset he was.
Flash forward to today, and the tech industry can still be a rough and tumble place. The world-famous creator of the Linux operating system, Linus Torvalds, is regularly accused of verbal abuse. At Red Hat, the lines between being outspoken and being rude are so blurred that employees have been known to call the CEO "an idiot" to his face (which is fine with him).
Then there was the alleged "frat-like" behavior at Tinder that led to a cofounder leaving and suing (the case was settled for a reported $1 million). Or how about the GitHub incident, where one cofounder left the company and his wife later publicly apologized for pressuring employees to work for her own startup for free?
We could go on, but you get the point.
Waidmann wants more companies to do what schools do, and enact a zero-tolerance office bully policy. This survey finds that two-thirds of people surveyed work at companies that have no such policy.
So, not surprisingly, 83% also said they have worked with a jerk within the last five years and 25% admit to having been an office jerk themselves. 
There are five common types of Office Jerks, according to the No Jerks Allowed folks:
  1. The “Know-it-all”: Nearly 30% percent say this is the most common type of jerk they have to deal with.
  2. The “Bully”: 26% say this is the most common.
  3. The “Complainer”: 21% say this is the most common
  4. The “Brownnoser”: 16% say this is the most common
  5. The “Office Gossip”: 4% say this is the most common.
Office jerks have a bunch of negative effects, according to the survey:
  • Two-thirds say that they lead to low employee morale;
  • 42% say they cause other employees to go "lone wolf" and work alone instead of collaborating;
  • 40% say they decrease the quality of the company's work and
  • one-third say they cause employees to be unable to get their own work done.
For those who like pictures, here's the full results of the survey in infographic form:
Connectria No Jerks AllowedConnectriaConnectria No Jerks Allowed survey

Read more: http://uk.businessinsider.com/it-pros-bullied-at-work-2015-2?r=US&__scoop_post=c73bf070-ba7d-11e4-93b2-842b2b775358&__scoop_topic=803151#__scoop_post=c73bf070-ba7d-11e4-93b2-842b2b775358&__scoop_topic=803151#ixzz3SmfURafU

donderdag 26 februari 2015

Transgender teen sues 4 school districts over bullying

File art
File art
Attorney James Rasor is representing a 14-year-old transgender boy - a child born a female who identifies as male.

A child, Rasor says, who was bullied and traumatized at several schools because of it, leading to the student's family filing suit against four school districts.

"This goes beyond taunting and teasing - this goes to physical violence," he said. "The school districts failed miserably to keep this kid safe from bullying and in fact the school districts bullied the kid themselves.

"It's just an outrageous example of school districts failing to protect their students."

Rasor says the districts failed to keep the student's private information confidential, failed to provide an accessible unisex restroom - meaning he couldn't go to the bathroom all day.

That wasn't all.

"They refuse to refer to him by his male name - his chosen name," Rasor said. "They outed him to other students and other administrators, they told him that he was a whiner, that he should just get over it."

Rasor says the student and his family had to move repeatedly changing schools several times because of the harassment  and each time, it happened again.

The districts now named in this federal lawsuit include Van Buren Public Schools, Summit Academy North District, Wyandotte Public Schools and Dearborn Heights Public Schools.

Even though the state of Michigan has no laws protecting lesbian, gay, bisexual or transgender people, schools are subject to such laws - both Title IX and the Equal Protection Clause."

 "A school has a duty pursuant to federal and state law to protect their students and to keep their students safe," Rasor said. "They have to take this duty seriously - and this duty is pursuant to federal law and to state law - when they fail to do that, for that harm."

The school districts are seeking to have the case dismissed but now the federal government has filed this brief in support of the child's case - asking the court to prohibit sex discrimination under Title IX and the Equal Protection Clause - signed by the United States Department of Education, the assistant attorney general, the Department of Justice Civil Rights Division and U.S. Attorney Barbara McQuade.

"This case is about changing the playing field for LGBT youth in schools," Rasor said. "This is so that all kids can go to school and get an atmosphere free from bullying so that they can learn and maximize their potential." 

woensdag 25 februari 2015

Dove Tackles Cyberbullying In #SpeakBeautiful Campaign

Getty Images
With one-liners that challenge those of even the most-cutting fashion critics, remarks from the Twittersphere can sometimes be less-than-beneficial to a person’s self-esteem, and not even celebrities are immune from its wrath. Last night during the OscarsDove set out to change all of that with their latest #SpeakBeautiful campaign. Known for feel-good advertisements that make a serious impact long after the clips have ended, the brand teamed up with Twitter to spread positive messages during what they considered a prime time for women to put themselves and others down. Dove encouraged viewers to spread supportive and encouraging messages tagged with the #SpeakBeautiful hashtag in an attempt to rid cyberbullying from the platform, and recognize the impact made by words spoken online. Every time a negative tweet was posted, the technology developed by Twitter and Dove would cancel out the post, and reply with constructive advice from the brand’s self-esteem experts. Besides, if we only have 140 characters or less to start a trending topic, the message should at least be an empowering one! Check out Dove’s ad below, and be inspired to join in and spread the domino effect of positivity.

Stop pesten! School

Bullying at Vukuzakhe High school in Umlazi caught on tape

Staying Motivated & Anti-Bullying

Iggy Azalea Body Bullied & Quits Twitter - Ariana & Big Sean Drops New S...

B-Brave zegt: STOP pesten nu!

B-Brave met oranje bandje tegen pesten: Ik STOP pesten nu! Go Zero Event Assen foto is van Bonte Wever
(bovenstaande foto is van de Bonte Wever)
Kaj van der Voort, Cassius Verbond, Dioni Jurado-Gomez en Jai Wowor B-Brave zeggen: Ik STOP pesten nu!
Kaj van der Voort, Samuel Leijten, Cassius Verbond, Dioni Jurado-Gomez en Jai Wowor van B-Brave zeggen on stage tijdens het Go Zero Event in Assen: Stop Pesten Nu!
Kom ook in actie en zeg: Ik STOP pesten nu! Ga naar de website: www.stoppestennu.nl

Kinderombudsman Marc Dullaert riep vandaag schoolbesturen tot de orde: Stop met het inzetten van omstreden pestprogramma’s in de klas.

Jinek 18 februari 2015

Vanavond onder andere te gast: 

Harry Lensink, Pieter Cobelens en Michiel Pestman
Vrij Nederland publiceerde vandaag een onthullend onderzoek waaruit blijkt dat het OM 126 jihadisten op de korrel heeft, maar plaatst ook vraagtekens bij de toepassing van het strafrecht. Wie zijn die 126 jihadisten en hoe gevaarlijk zijn ze, én hoe worden ze aangepakt en waar kan het beter? Daarover vanavond te gast: Harry Lensink, Pieter Cobelens en Michiel Pestman.
Marc Dullaert en Micha de Winter 
Kinderombudsman Marc Dullaert riep vandaag schoolbesturen tot de orde: Stop met het inzetten van omstreden pestprogramma’s in de klas. Veel scholen passen nog een anti-pest aanpak toe waarvan niet bewezen is dat die echt werkt. Dat is van ‘de zotte’ en ‘ronduit gevaarlijk’ voor onze kinderen volgens Dullaert. Scholen vinden dat ze zelf mogen bepalen hoe ze pesters aanpakken.
Marc Dullaert, kinderombudsman en Micha de Winter hoogleraar opvoedkunde over hoe we pesten het beste te lijf kunnen gaan.

Lucie Kessens, Martin Sitalsing en Gert van Dijk
Morgen is de uitspraak in de zaak van de 20-jarige Daniëlla uit Groningen. Het verstandelijk gehandicapte meisje werd ernstig mishandeld en uiteindelijk vermoord, haar stiefvader is de verdachte. Door deze moord laait de discussie op over verplichte anticonceptie bij verstandelijk beperkte vrouwen. Kan het deze mishandelingen voorkomen? Is het ethische verantwoord als de overheid zich hiermee bemoeit en waar ligt de grens? Lucie Kessens, zelf opgegroeid in een zwakbegaafd gezin, Martin Sitalsing, directeur Jeugdbescherming Noord en Gert van Dijk, medisch ethicus bij artsenfederatie KNMG gaan de discussie aan.

Focus on Family: Bullied Kids Speak Out author Jodee Blanco

Jodee Blanco
To purchase a copy of the book:
Visit Jodee’s website:
Information from Jodee:
The worst advice a parent or teacher can give a bullied child
To ignore the bully and walk away.  It encourages kids to be bystanders in their own lives and only gives the bullies permission to torture the victim more.
The biggest mistake kids make when dealing with a bully and how to avoid it
Listening to the clichés adults often give them, like ignore the bully and walk away, or trying to respond with a “clever comeback.”  None of that stuff works.  There are two kinds of popular kids in a school–the “elite leader’ is a member of the cool crowd who’s kind and inclusive, and then there’s the “elite tormentor.”  Those are the mean members of the cool crowd who often use subtle forms of rejection and exclusion to control their victims.  They are the most damaging and prominent types of bullies in schools.  The worse mistake a teen can make when dealing with an “elite tormentor,” is both giving in and changing who they are to fit in (it never works), ignoring them, or taking them on.  Instead you have to look them in the eye, and tell them to stop.  It’s also a good idea to reach out to other kids who are being bullied by the same people and form a coalition.  Additionally turn to the “elite leaders,” in the school for help and support.  You can reclaim your dignity but you have to be strong, centered, and straight up that you’re not going to take the abuse anymore.
The biggest myth about bullying that most teens wish their parents understood
The tired old cliché about bullies, “they’re just jealous,” — it’s not the root cause of bullying, it can be a catalyst but it’s not the cause, and when parents tell their kids that to try and make them feel better it is INFURIATING because every teen knows it isn’t true.
What all school bullies have in common that they’ll never admit to
“I’m scared and don’t know where to turn, I’m hurting, please don’t punish me, help me.”
The biggest mistake parents make that leads to more bullying related suicides
They immediately focus on making sure the bullies get punished instead of performing triage first on their child, the victim–the victim is dying of loneliness–the priority is to help your child find a new social outlet outside of school through a theater program, park district, community center, anyplace where they can make new friends with new faces in an organized regular activity–once you stop the bleeding that comes in the form of loneliness, THEN as a parent, focus on dealing with the bully.  And instead of insisting on punishing the bully, be curious, find out as much about the bully’s back story as possible, because the more you learn about his/her circumstances, the more compassion you’ll feel, and the more compassion you have for the bully, the quicker everyone’s pain can be resolved.
The typical profile of the bullied child
The typical profile of the bullied child is what I call “the ancient child.”  He or she is an old soul.  They’re usually more socially, intellectually and verbally mature than their peers, and they exhibit a sensitivity and compassion far beyond their years.  They try to connect with others their own age, but it’s as if there’s an invisible wall.  What these “ancient children” wish their parents would understand is that they’re tired of everyone bragging about how old they are for their age, they just want to be given permission to act like kids and be silly.